Six years ago I had the sadness of losing my most treasured dream just for not being it with the right person, in the right moment – if that ever happens to exist – and so the following three years flowed bathed under circumstances that for anyone could have been ideal, but they were not really enough for me, to make me smile again as before.

Three years ago changes came, while the break of another treasured dream happened at the same time. Changes meant improvements, grow! But I was sad, abandoned, betrayed, and physically alone. So another three years went through – I grew, I learned, I enjoyed, but my smile was not full as before.

Today changes are coming, changes to improve, changes to grow, changes to challenge me… changes that picked me – this time was not me the one who look for them, this time I was elected for whom I’ve become, and changes are here.

Today my heart wants to smile but is afraid, today I know everything will be better from now on, but my mind is conditioned and expectant for the bad news, for the broken dreams… but… they don’t come, they doesn’t happen; I only have reasons to smile, to celebrate, to be Happy!

Soon… I am sure soon the spark that will remember me how to smile will happen – good times are coming, are evolving, and I am ready, I am more than ready for them!!

Space Oddity

I am a great friend! … and that’s it.

Everyone thinks I’m amazing, a fun, reliable guy, who happens to be a gentleman too; a guy who knows how to listen, just like no one else do it anymore. It is common to hear how surprising the fact is that I can almost read the mind of the other person, connect. How easy it is to feel free and natural next to me. Oh, and that I give the best hugs ever.

So yes, it seems I am very good material for a friend… and that’s it, pretty much.

maybe that´s why... or at least that´s how it feels.

Story of my last relationships:

Stage 1: We met. Since I know what I want, it is easy to know when there’s a connection which can lead to what I dream. She likes the confidence but she don’t trust, have been addressed by heaps of jerks pretending to be good.

Stage 2: In between many nice moments, basically the relationship goes about her not trusting my words, and me doing extra efforts on demonstrating with actions that what I say is true and I mean it.

Stage 3: By the time she realizes that what she have been going through is real and very close to what she have been waiting for all of her life, I already had enough of having to demonstrate things to someone who is meant to trust from the beginning and working out the relationship with equal hard work.

Stage 4: Anything happens, she got used by now that it is me who fix everything, I am tired so I don’t fix it. The End.

Stage 5: She hates me, unfriends me, kisses me when she’s drunk, hates me even more, and makes a mess.

Outcome: I am a jerk. Pff…

I made a song again!!!  XD

El tiempo no existe, no en la forma que lo conciben los humanos - es una invención creada en el afán de controlarlo todo, es un acuerdo social en el mejor de los casos, pero aún con el objeto de tener control. El control tampoco existe, el concepto en sí es un absurdo; la única constante en el universo es el cambio, la evolución.

Partimos de un punto, un origen, que en realidad no lo es, sólo es el resultado de una serie de trayectorias previas que colisionan y forma una nueva trayectoria. De esta forma la nueva trayectoria comienza a trayectarse, comienza lo que es más bien una continuación; no tiene rumbo, no tiene objetivo, al menos no de manera independiente, son las circunstancias desde las que se sucede las que le van formando, definiendo, guiando, y radica en esto que sea único, que sea diferente y aún así parte del todo, igual al todo, producto del todo, pero a la vez único e irrepetible.

Somos espirales en expansión, creemos que tenemos ciclos, que tenemos un pulso, que damos vueltas en círculos, y sin embargo nunca volvemos a pasar por el mismo lugar, no es la misma piedra con la que tropezamos, pues desde que tropezamos la primera vez, incluso la piedra misma cambió. Estamos inevitablemente condenados a evolucionar.

Sin embargo seguimos usando relojes, seguimos tratando de explicar el universo en pizarras bidimensionales y con fórmulas creadas únicamente desde nuestra limitada perspectiva humana. No somos muy diferentes de aquellos que creían que la tierra era plana; seguimos celebrando el año nuevo, seguimos confiando en los números, seguimos comiendo hamburguesas, porque todo esto nos da una falsa sensación de seguridad, nos hace creer que estamos en control.

Si pudiéramos ver como las abejas, entenderíamos el cosmos de manera diferente; si pudiéramos navegar como los delfines y comunicarnos como los elefantes, comprenderíamos el espacio de manera diferente; si pudiéramos vibrar como los árboles, entenderíamos el tiempo de manera diferente. Pero no lo hacemos, no porque no podamos, sino porque creemos en el control, y de ahí hemos generado una adicción destructiva hacia un concepto tan incomprendido y mal interpretado como el tiempo: el poder.

Para entender lo que esperamos entender necesitamos primero dejar de ser lo que creemos que somos, dejarnos evolucionar hacia aquello de lo que siempre hemos formado parte: dejarnos llevar libremente por las espirales de proporciones áureas que dibujan la existencia.

Para entender el universo ni siquiera necesitamos ver a las estrellas nacer o morir como lo hacen las abejas, solo necesitamos Amar.

Me entiendes lo que quiero decir?!

Believe

I’ve been angry with humanity for long time; wars, thirst of power, overpopulation, massive destructions, of my planet, and the killing of all the beautiful creatures that make of it such a magic place… but specially the lack of love…
 
This weekend I realize it is not really anger, but frustration… frustration for not knowing then what to do with all the fire running through my veins – if You could only be real… if You could only exist, send me a sign, if you could only tell me that You’re here too, that You’re looking for me as well, as much as I keep looking for You.

I keep looking for a way to let You know how much I want to get lost in your eyes… dive into them from the cliff where I’ve been standing all this eternity, staring sunsets, yearning for the warmth of your skin, of your breath. If I could only jump into the endless ocean of your eyes and dive into your waters, feel all your entire being surrounding me, submerging me into your depths, into all those places that You keep only for You…

For so long I’ve been pushing me to believe that You do not exist…

“If you can imagine it is because it’s real, it is because it’s possible” my Grandfather used to tell me, and well, I believe in You.

You’re real, because You already live in me, the biggest Dream of my life relies in You, it’s only possible with You, it is You.

You’re my air and my light, my sun and my breath of life, my piece of God. Just a stare from You and the whole universe would stop, your beauty is the reason why God don’t allow the flowers and the stars to feel envy; they would wither and their shine would drawn in the darkness of eternity just by knowing how small they are compared to You.

Your sweet cherry-mouth is the cradle where my life surrenders, where I die and born again. Your mouth is the wellspring of eternal youth, and every word that from it emanates turns the desert of my solitude into jungles and rivers of life and peace. The music of your voice becomes the rhythm of my heart, every word a beat, every word a cause to fight for, to live for, to conquer for!

Is my Beloved my delirium and the fire in my blood; she is Queen, she is Fairy, Princess, Mermaid, Woman, Girl, she is God and have me at her feet, her dreams are my targets and for Her and in her name there’s no impossible, there’s nothing unattainable! And no knight has ever cared for his Queen, protected nor flattered, as I do for Her.

In her eyes the oceans would get lost and the sun would wish to live forever, but it settles in reflecting on her hair, from far away, dreaming of Her as a poet does to his star while he sees her twinkling at the distance; elven dancer of soft and delicate feet as wings of angels, but with firm and confident step that turns the paths that You walk through into spring paradises, perfumed by the mystique wind of your hair.

In your presence all the storms bend and the most terrible furies melt down; Volcano may spew his anger, but if You just look at him, the rabies will become passion, passion for life and not destruction, passion for You, and devotion.

You rein all planets and constellations, all universes and all the stars; You’re the fertile soil out of which springs all life and hope…

behind the smile, the jokes, and the candles...